![]() ![]() Here’s the thing: if you’re anything like I was, you have no idea what that looks like. I thought I WAS being respectful even though I was disrespectful at least 27 times a day. Hopefully you’re not as bad as I was ’cause there was a lot of eye-rolling, sighing, complaining about what he did and questioning his judgment going on around here. Not to mention constructive criticism, interrogation, accusation, and downright rude comments. I thought of it as “being helpful,” or doing what the experts suggested by “expressing a concern.”Īll of it seemed justified to me–and all of it ruined my chances that he was ever going to come in for a passionate kiss. ![]() But when I look at these pictures now, it seems pretty obvious: I had no idea that was why my husband didn’t show affection for me. Okay, so those aren’t me, but they are reasonable facsimiles of how I appear when I’m disrespectful versus respectful. You know how you want him to see you as irresistible, beautiful and lovable? He wants you to see him as smart, capable and strong in the same way. It’s when you admit that you just threw a handful of M&Ms into the living room for your kids to find so you could talk on the phone without interruption for a few minutes, and your friend doesn’t judge you but says, “Wow, great idea!” When you start acting like he is smart, capable and strong (even if you don’t think so), that will go a long way toward bringing back the makeout sessions, snuggling and sex you’re craving. It’s when your husband tells you that he just lost a grip of money because the stocks he bought went down. And you say, “Oh well, it’s only money,” instead of telling him he should have checked with you first. ![]() It’s knowing you won’t be ridiculed, humiliated, outcast, or criticized even when you sing a Katy Perry song that’s way out of your range. It’s what you had early in your relationship, when he was affectionate and you felt desired and you admired him so much for who he was.įamiliarity really does breed contempt sometimes, but it doesn’t have to. Start by letting him talk and just listening by saying “Uh-huh” or “Mmmm.” You could decide to be as admiring now as you were back then. What about when you put cereal boxes and fake blood on your shirt for Halloween and called yourself a cereal killer? Or the other day when you were doing your Zumba moves in the kitchen? Remember that time you went camping and you and your friend couldn’t stop laughing for an hour? Letting him talk without correcting, suggesting, teaching, advising or freaking out is a very good start to restoring your magnetism. You are at your best when you’re the manifestation of Cyndi Lauper’s astute anthem “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.” Those are just a few examples of being the real you-the Goddess of Fun and Light (GOFL). ![]()
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